One of my most favorite people in the world, Elyse MoFo Anders, recently started a project called Operation Flawless. Go check it out and participate if you feel the urge. I’m having tons of fun with it already. The basic gist of the project is to intentionally post selfies of yourself looking less than flawless to highlight the impossibility of beauty standards and to recognize how important and powerful self-portraits (selfies) can be. As I’ve participated in this project, I’ve come to a realization: I love selfies.
This might come as a surprise to many of you. I’ve spoken many times before about my insecurities and my unhappiness with my looks. But no matter how much I dislike looking at myself in the mirror, I love seeing pictures of myself. I feel so much more comfortable when there’s a distance between myself and the image of myself, so that I can be somewhat more objective when assessing myself. I would rather look at a picture of myself than see myself in the mirror any day. I can manipulate my pictures, delete my pictures, only keep the pictures I like, only look at the pictures from when I looked happier…I can control pictures.
But more than just the medium, I absolutely adore being able to take pictures of myself. Selfies are sort of like the ultimate form of power over how others see you and over how you see yourself. It’s kind of lovely. When I take selfies I get to decide how I’m lit, what I’m wearing, whether I wear makeup, how my hair is, the background, and pretty much everything else. And on top of that I get to continue taking pictures until I find the one that I think is exactly perfect and how I want to look. I can play model, try to smize, find the exact quirk of my mouth that makes me look snarky/sexy/happy.
Perhaps my favorite part of selfies is that I get to pick what’s important in my life and capture that moment for y’all to see. When someone else is taking the pictures, they’re in the driver’s seat. You’re doing something you think is embarrassing or boring? Oh look there’s a picture! You’re drifting somewhere else and not really present? Yup, picture of that too! You’re stuck somewhere you don’t want to be? Mmhmm, everyone knows. When you’re taking the pictures, you get to pick. Not all of you will understand. Sometimes I take pictures of myself sitting at Caribou, sometimes hanging out at home doing nothing. More often than I should admit there are cats in my pictures. I take selfies when something I want to share is happening. It’s my visual diary. It reveals the things I do often, or the things that are exciting and important.
Unfortunately I often find (especially lately) that I’ve stopped posting selfies unless there’s a “reason”. I’ve internalized well enough the messaging that just posting pictures of yourself is trite, self-absorbed, juvenile, or wrong in some way. On some level it seems to say “I don’t have anything better to post”. Well bullshit on that. Me, myself, and I are worth posting. The times that I care about are worth posting. I don’t need to live up to anyone’s standards of worthiness on my own Facebook page or Twitter. It’s not narcissism to share my own image of myself: that’s the entire point of social media.
I’m taking Elyse’s invitation to personally reclaim the selfie. I love seeing my face plastered all over the internet and if no one else will do it for me, then gosh darn I’ll do it myself!