Odes to Bootyliciousness

Last night I had a lovely dinner with my boyfriend and we went for a walk afterwards. As I was opining the horrors of having to return to my dull job in the morning, he gave me a delightful suggestion of how to occupy my time during the day. It was brilliant! And so here I present to you all a series of odes to my boyfriend’s bootyliciousness. I hope they give you all a light on this dark Wednesday to guide you to beauteous Friday.


Round, firm, delicious

Just juicy enough to love

Bootylicious ass



I sit on the couch

You are busy, bustling to and fro

I cannot help but watch as you pass by me

Your jeans cup, gently rubbing across skin

Oh that I were those jeans

And could be that close

Spooned lovingly around your cheeks

Giving you the support and comfort

That your gracious gluteus deserves

My hands unconsciously curve to match

The curves of your cuppable caboose

Oh perfection!
Oh beauty!
Shining with the light of divine creation

Glowing in the morning sunlight (as my x-ray vision can see through your jeans)

I am in awe

Jaw-dropping awe

You turn to move into another room

I sigh, but your glorious fanny lives on in my memory

Outshining all other posteriors

Pretending to be badonkadonk



Apple-Bottom John

I like to sneak a squeeze in the middle of a crowded space

So you know I’m appreciating your fine fanny

It’s a secret for the two of us

And we know from the matching grins on our faces

There are some happy cheeks here