It’s been a while since I posted some fiction for y’all, so here’s what’s been coming out of my brain.
Sometimes I am afraid of my hunger. When I remember to feel hungry, there is no end. My stomach aches, a deep empty pit that will never be full. I contain too much, infinities between my head and my toes and they must be filled. It gnaws and pulls, and always asks for more. What will I do when I cannot satiate the lust for more reality? There is so much space within me, a hollowness of curiosity and rampant need. I can consume the whole universe and be left licking my fingers for the last crumbs, always wanting more. What would happen if I were to let the beast of my hunger free? Sometimes I fear that I might have started something unstoppable, my whole body flaming out as it consumes my beloved world. But I will never let it go free. I will control.
When I am on solid ground, I am a klutz. I injure myself. I run into things. I overbalance at anything. I am not coordinated, and I am not graceful. I have accepted this. I will never be a ballerina or a runner or a tightrope walker.
But last night, I slipped into a pool and I was powerful. My body was sinuous, long, and elegant. I could stretch the length of myself through the water and arc myself into curls and and waves. My arms could hold the world as I pull myself forward and slide endlessly under, under the surface. I hold the water, cupping it against me, feeling myself grow. I can surpass anyone here. I am at home.