Get Off Your Phone!

It’s a common sight at events, concerts, or attractions to see someone (or many someones) with their camera or phone firmly planted in front of their face, recording or snapping pictures for the entire experience. It is also a common sight to find blog posts, rants, and other forms of judgment telling everyone that this is the wrong way to enjoy your life. “Get off your phone! No one wants to see those pictures! You’re not experiencing the event, you’re just taking pictures!” There is a common sentiment that an unmediated version of reality is the best version of reality, and that if you’re taking pictures or video your mind is on how to capture the experience rather than on the experience itself. If you’re not 100% mentally and emotionally present, then you’re ruining your own experience!

The odd thing about this is that more often than not, those taking these pictures aren’t distracting anyone else. Their behavior is entirely irrelevant to the people who are upset with it. It simply has to do with how that individual is experiencing someone, a personal choice that is entirely their own. This need to police other people’s happiness is an impulse which is both incredibly self centered (other people need to do things the same way I do or they won’t be happy) and incredibly unhelpful.

Here’s the thing: everyone has different ways of experiencing the world, and everyone appreciates different things. We get happy in different ways. We engage with things in different ways. We are present in different ways. These individualities are why not all of us like to go to bars and not all of us like to play Dungeons and Dragons, but for some reason when technology is involved it’s no longer ok to have preferences but instead there must be a Right and a Wrong way to exist because otherwise technology will infiltrate our lives and destroy our human connections (or something).

For some people, taking pictures allows them to experience things in a more active way. They prefer not to simply be passive recipients of their experience, but want to think about how best to capture it, about the angles of light and the image of what’s going on. For some people, thinking about how they will capture the experience makes them think about what they want to remember in the future, and helps them focus on the things they like most about their experience. Some people just like taking pictures or videos and that is an additional enjoyable experience beyond whatever primary experience they may be happening.

And guess what? Even if you personally don’t want technology to be a part of your day to day experience because you find it makes you less present, that doesn’t mean that technology inherently pulls people out of their lives and pushes them into the “unreality” of the internet. Some people find that having their phone on and around is a distraction from the people they want to be with, where others (especially the introverted and socially anxious among us) find it a useful way to take a quick break from socializing when they need a mini recharge. The point is that people experience technology (as well as social situations) differently. In the past, if someone had a hard time being fully present in a situation with lots of people for a long time, all they could do was leave or just try to stick it out or maybe dissociate. Now there are more strategies they can employ through technology. They may be more visible, since someone taking out their phone is more obvious than someone simply zoning out and ignoring what’s happening around them, but people have always had ways to take a break from a current experience. All of us do it, and that is 100% ok. We don’t owe any place or person or experience all of ourself for the entire time we are there.

So please friends, take out your phones if you want, take those pictures, hide behind your camera or take that video because you want to watch it tomorrow. Let yourself disappear for a bit into technology or find new ways to love the concert you’re at by finding the perfect image to capture it. I want you to know what makes you smile, and that’s no one’s business but your own.


4 thoughts on “Get Off Your Phone!

  1. Your points about “unreality” are especially relevant to conversations I’ve had. Spot on.

    Here’s a thought: what about the people that actually feel offended when their friends want to escape to their phones? I’ve heard complaints before, and they’re not lifestyle-judgy. They’re more “hey, I like you, I want you to be here with me currently.” Actually, maybe the best option is just open communication. If I didn’t like it when my friend did something like that, I’d tell them that. Granted, that’s the platonic social ideal, but still. I think it can work.

    I don’t know if there’s still a question in there somewhere. But it’s Monday night. And I want to eat some pizza.

    • oj27 says:

      That is a very good point.
      I think to some extent we’ve been told a lie that we deserve our friend’s attention always when we’re with them, that they can’t be distracted. Absolutely if you’re talking about something you care about and someone pulls out their phone I think it’s totally legit to say “hey friend, this is important,” (again, you’re probably right that this is ideal not necessarily likely), but I also think we get unnecessarily offended by phones in particular because we think they’re “disrespectful” whereas your friend just going quiet for a minute and drifting a little bit isn’t.
      So yeah, I think there’s some middle ground here. Be present when important shit is happening. Communicate when you need someone present. Do that thing.

  2. […] Olivia gives a well-deserving flipped bird to those who want us to “Get Off Your Phone” […]

  3. […] Olivia gives a well-deserving flipped bird to those who want us to “Get Off Your Phone” […]

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